Know, O prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the years of the rise of the Sons of Aryas, there was an Age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars – Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with its chivalry, Koth that bordered on the pastoral lands of Shem, Stygia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hyrkania whose riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom of the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west.
Conan the Cimmerian 1537, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet and review a serious amount of vinyl.
You know what? at age 15-ish I’d read so many of the Conan novels that I could actually write the opening blurb out from memory, all 136 words of it. The fact I only needed to look up bits of it* even now, is probably exactly the reason why I struggle to remember all that real stuff in the real world. Ah well, it is the world’s loss.
But I digress. I stand here naked before you all to mark the (almost, nearly, totally) half way point of the 1537. A quest that, like the one for that Holy Grail thingy, will come to define a whole epoch**. Way back in time before the oceans drank Atlantis, on November 18th 2012 I set out to review all the records in my collection, all 1537 of them strangely enough; starting with Metallica Kill ’em All. 1670 days later, here I am.
I’ve learned a bit in that time. I’ve got a lot better at reviewing LPs^ and taking pictures for a start; I’ve branched out all the way into reviewing comics occasionally as well as gigs AND I’ve got a whole lot better at smuggling new vinyl purchases into the house, past the vengeful Gorgon. But the main thing I’ve learned is what a fun, fantastic, furry group of fellow bloggers and bloggettes there are out there, it is your encouragement, sass, support of, interest in and downright adulation of me that makes this all worth while. Some bloggers come and go, some fall by the wayside but a whole host of you are here for the long haul and for that I thank each and every one of you. You know who you are^^ and it is thanks to you all that I haven’t got bored and wandered off elsewhere in search of kicks.
So what will the next 1670 days hold for us all? Crom knows, I don’t. But whatever it is I firmly predict I’ll need even more record shelves. I recently added two more to my layout because things were getting so tight that I was risking damaging the precious beauties just by having to push them into the shelves really hard. Two more shelves gives me room for about 3-400 more sides, but I’ve gone totally floor to ceiling now in the room so I’ll probably have to move house next time. Ah well.
So what have you been adding to the 1537 recently, oh great one? I hear you ask. Well, since you were curious, here’s a smidgen of what has come my way recently:
RSD 2017 goodies:
It was the day that just keeps on giving, all of these were added at very reasonable prices – maybe the profiteers have moved on to pastures new? I wanted that Toto Africa/Rosanna picture disc more than I have ever wanted an inanimate object in my whole life. True story.
Riot Rock City:
It’s all about the strange half-menacing/half camp seal dude mascot thing for me. Well that and the track ‘Overdrive’. It is also the recipient of the very latest ‘what is that crap you’re listening to?‘ award by a passing Mrs 1537.
Rory Gallagher Kickback City:
Quite simply this may be the best-packaged and clever compilations I have ever bought. One day, in a perfect world all LPs will come with an Ian Rankin novella read by Aidan Quinn. More about this beauty shortly.
Jean-Michel Jarre & Edward Snowden Exit (7″):
This RSD 2016 release is particularly great – who knew Snowden was such an accomplished rapper, guitarist and saxophonist? his guitar shredding at the beginning of this track is just a joy to listen to. Okay no, I’m joking, he just talks about online freedom and privacy at the end of this great slamming track by J-MJ … before giving us a kick ass bouzouki solo.
New At The Drive-In and Biters LPs:
The ATDI is taking a bit of time to settle and, dare I say it, the Biters follow up to the 1537 best LP of 2015 disappoints at the first couple of listens.
But, this is not about us poor unworthy mortals, this is about the Gods.
Amen and see you in another 1670 days time.
*I forgot brythunia and the bit about the pastoral lands of Shem. Odd that, because we used to take the kids camping to the pastoral lands of Shem quite a lot when they were little. True story.
**not totally sure quite how long an epoch is, I’m guessing it’s a bit more than five years, but less than listening to Iron Maiden’s The Book of Souls six times.
^or so I say.
^^that’s just a quick thing to say so I don’t have to type all your names out. True story.