Beneath The Belgian

We have lost many traditions and things of cultural significance in our headlong rush to embrace modernity and technology*. An inexhaustive list follows:

• Good manners
• The ability to acknowledge and talk to one another
• Democracy
• The joy of letter writing
• All sense of proportion and decency
• Courtship
• Cheap cash-in compilation LPs

When our cockroach overlords write the history of humanity in about 40 years time at the current rate, I have no doubt whatsoever that the last of these will be deemed the most important, the fulcrum on which the fate of our species turned.

I have always been a sucker for a cheaply produced compilation LP with a gaudy cover and at least 4 songs on it you really want, another 6 you know and quite like, 3 which cause you untold joy from the very first time you hear them and 2 which make you retch in pain.

I suspect it is tied in with the demise of singles, but we do not do compilations properly anymore. Film soundtracks, yes although they are less random and more tasteful than they used to be**; archaeological scoops by genre or far-flung locales, yes and how tasteful; but give me a record label cash-in job every time, preferably TV advertised.

Such is/was/will be 20 Of Another Kind.

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Released in 1979 on Polydor Records to milk those crazy punk rock cash udders, 20 Of Another Kind is pretty damn great, whilst being a bit awful too.

I bought it in 2001 solely to own Plastic Bertrand ‘Ça plane pour moi’ on vinyl; anything else palatable on it that I didn’t already own would be a bonus and quite rightly it is the opening track, everything else is truly beneath the Belgian.

As the spoiler alert title states there are 20 tracks here under the doctored cover shot of, I guess, a model made up to look a bit punk. 20 Of Another Kind passes the arbitrary 1537 cheapo test whilst accruing bonus points by not even bothering to use a second photo on the back cover.

As always on these comps no Clash, no Pistols and so we reach further down the punk leagues to more interesting realms. 20 Of Another Kind gave me The Jam ‘In The City’, The Adverts ‘Gary Gilmore’s Eyes’, The Lurkers ‘I’m On Heat’, The Heartbreakers ‘Born Too Loose'(sic) and 999 ‘Emergency’ and that song by the synthetic Belgian.

All of the above were excellent tracks I already knew but didn’t own elsewhere, so boxes firmly ticked.

As usual there was overlap with what I already had too, The Stranglers, Stiff Little Fingers and The Boys – the latter represented with one of my all-time fave new wav singles ‘The First Time’. There was also an odd kind of simultaneous overlap as I also bought LPs by Otway And Barratt and Sham 69 on the very same day, from the very same shop^, meaning that I got a good double dosage of the fantabulous ‘Really Free’ and ‘Borstal Breakout’. Golly gosh, one is such a punk rocker on occasion!

Then there is the rarity, an early version of ‘Killing An Arab’ by the Cure which is not available anywhere else, not quite sure if this was the version that broke the Camus’ back? I can’t hear a huge amount of difference, but I have tired old ears.

Then you have those odds and sods whose presence is either down to the compilation’s record company trying to recoup some advance, or the product of narcotic and sexual favours granted/overlooked by a record exec. To witness The Skids ‘Sweet Suburbia’ which is perfectly fine, but not in the right company here, Patrik Fitzgerald ‘Irrelevant Battles’? me neither and The Jolt ‘No Excuses’, very third division.

As always part of the joy of a compilation is that there are some decidedly odd juxtapositions on 20 Of Another Kind, SLF ‘Suspect Device’^^ sounds even more like a detonating nail bomb after The Cure and Sham 69 ‘If The Kids Are United’ is strangely becalmed betwixt duds, before the LP peters out a bit.

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So all the above and the divine Belgian too, as our forefathers already knew a good compilation is an excellent way of hoovering up all the bits and pieces you didn’t realise you needed so badly, as well as the occasional irritant and surprise.

Truly we should heed the lessons of the past, especially if the lesson begins:

Wam! Bam! Mon chat, splatch
Gît sur mon lit a bouffé sa langue en buvant dans mon whisky 

Amen.

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PS: Plastic Bertrand fans stay tuned for a full post on ‘Ça plane pour moi’. True story.

*he typed into his computer before hypocritically broadcasting his opinion to the intelligentsia of the world with a single click of a mouse.

**contrast the joys of Less Than Zero with Lost in Translation; or at least do so when I get around to reviewing the latter in 2045.

^14/11/01 was a good day.

^^a high entry on my list of greatest and heaviest tunes ever.