I, Ron Fist

I'm your boy, I'll make you undulate with joy
'Cos I'm the Doctor

How do you follow up your best ever LP and pinnacle of commercial success? this was the puzzle foxing Motörhead after No Sleep ‘Til Hammersmith.  So they over-toured, over-indulged, sacked off producer Vic Maile and went into the studio tired, under-prepared and under-material-ed, with Will Reid Dick and Fast Eddie Clarke manning the boards.

The resulting Iron Fist is nobody’s favourite Motörhead LP*, panned for not containing any classic cuts and for flat production.  Guilty as charged, but … but … even a second division Motörhead LP is way, wayyy better than most band’s A-game.  Maybe it is a case of nominative determination^ but I do find Iron Fist to be something of a relentless, hard-case of an album, a jab to the gut.  It would have made a hell of a mini LP if edited right.

It was the last gasp of the classic line-up.

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To winnow the wheat from the chaff on Iron Fist I would cull the uninspired ‘Speedfreak’, ‘Sex & Outrage’^^, the samey ‘Shut It Down’, the messy ‘Go To Hell’ and ‘Bang To Rights’.  The last track actually ends the LP on a fade out.  Metal LPs should end in explosions, noisy sexual satisfaction, lightning sound effects and demonic laughter, never fade outs.  Surely there’s a law?

Which makes it sound like there’s nothing of merit on Iron Fist, au contraire mon ami; as we say in Wales.  The opening title track ‘Iron Fist’ sounds like the cover picture, ’nuff said.  Maybe on a previous LP, with a better producer eking out some more dynamics and/or MPH from the band it could have been a minor classic.  ‘Heart Of Stone’ fares as well, harking back to Overkill to an extent and being good headbanging fodder.

Motörhead slow it down to great effect on the sleazy drug-fest of ‘I’m The Doctor’ and ‘Loser’ which features some neat bluesy touches around the edges.  It’s interesting, I would have loved to hear them explore this a little more, testing the edges of their sound, far better that tossing off another quick one by rote, so to speak.

On side 2 ‘America’ kicks things off well with a really interesting stop-start riff and tour tales, but this time sounding more jaded and resigned to a life of excess rather than exulting in it.  Lemmy even mentions Canada^*.

America, cold as death, up to Canada, Crystal Meth
Another West Coast turnaround and back to start
Yakima Reservation, just another broken heart

After that on Iron Fist the two bracket tunes, ‘(Don’t Let ‘Em) Grind Ya Down’ and ‘(Don’t Need) Religion’ make up the remainder of the saved.  Both are tough cuts, Taylor’s drumming stands out on the cussed stomp of the former and Lemmy’s bass ripping-off ‘Peter Gunn’ serves the latter really well.

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I wish I could use the 1537 patented time travelling DMC DeLorean to go back and plead with band/manager/Bronze Records to cut Iron Fist as a placeholder mini LP and to just go on holiday for a few months, reconvening when they were ready.  The band, particularly Lemmy, sounded tired and despite the good tracks here, a bit uninspired.  I just played a game on Spotify, out of 12 tracks I was able to click on (almost) exactly where the guitar solo was on about 10 of them – about 3/4 through, before final verse double chorus and done. Motörhead were writing to a formula at that point in time.

Reading the jokey thanks on the back sleeve ‘Vodka by Smirnoff; Carpets by Axminster/Wilton’ it strikes me that Iron Fist could do with a touch more of the band’s good humour, all the lyrics dealing with women/relationships are noticeably spiteful, far less playful than they had been before.

Iron Fist is a pretty good Motörhead album, unfortunately the four that preceded it were undisputed all-time classics, so they cast plenty of shade.  Iron Fist is relentless, hard-edged and gets the job done in a tough unfussy manner, sometimes that’s just what you need to stop things grinding you down, even if it doesn’t quite make me undulate with joy.

Evil bastards ain't got nothin' else to do
Make your life a misery and put you off your food
Don't you dare to go under
Don't let 'em steal your thunder
Listen to the sound
Well let 'em grind that down!

1007 Down.

*no it isn’t HMO; you’re just being a silly boy saying it has always been your favourite album ever, that you danced to all 12 tracks at your wedding and you have the cover tattooed on your left buttock**.

**everyone knows it’s on your right one.  

^not to be confused with nom-nom nominative determination which is the affect of incorporating the words gateau, pavlova, custard or sundae into the title of anything on the desert menu. True story.

^^the instrumental version of which entitled ‘Young And Crazy’, included in the bonus tracks is a much better listen.  Being the renowned CD evangelical that I am, I would also point to the bonus track ‘Remember Me, I’m Gone’ as one that should have made the final cut.

^*which I think is the top bit of the USA, where the policemen ride horses.