Whew! Here’s A Little Song For Everybody Out There

 

Or,

 1537 tries to like KISS, again*

Growing up and getting into metal I always felt I really should like KISS more than I did, I mean who couldn’t love the early LP art, the make-up, fire-eating, platform boots and titles like Lick It Up and ‘Burn Bitch Burn’? but … I could never quite like the music that much, excepting a few choice cuts.  I found most of their stuff a bit under-powered, the drum sound on their earlier stuff being particularly awful.  I remember Crazy Crazy Nights coming out in ’87 and being a big hit over here, the single reaching #4, I’d hear it but it just seemed so simplistic to me that I shied away from it.

Kiss Crazy Crazy 04

Flash forward 5 years and a drunken conversation in university as ‘Crazy Crazy Nights’ played on a jukebox and my friend Faz saying that he loved it and the best thing about it was that anyone could sing that song.  I agreed and leaped straight into action, buying the 12″ picture disc version of Crazy Crazy Nights about 12 years later.

Kiss Crazy Crazy 01

Flash forward another 10 years and I do love ‘Crazy Crazy Nights’ for precisely the reason Faz mentioned.  That riff and the beat is basic as hell, the song structure was clearly put together in about 10 minutes and the lyrics written in half that time.  But what makes it so simple and universal are the vocals – anyone could sing it, this is possibly the most democratic record in my whole collection.  None of this is meant to be remotely disparaging, it is in fact what makes it so good.  You don’t have to spend any unnecessary mental processing power listening to this track you just already know it, freeing up your mind to think about the higher things in life, like getting drunk, laid and drunker.  It’s a truly great record to listen to whilst getting ready to go out, or whilst doing some pre-drinking – or at least I seem to remember it was.

Sometimes days are so hard to survive,
A million ways to bury you alive
The sun goes down like a bad bad dream
You’re wound up tight, gotta let off steam
They say they can break you again and again
 If life is a radio, turn up to ten

It’s not quite ‘Sad-Eyed Lady Of The Lowlands’, or ‘Bird On the Wire’, but sometimes you just need to sink your teeth into a burger and fries.

Kiss Crazy Crazy 07

As for the B-sides, ‘No No No’ is a fine up-tempo 80’s rock track, complete with widdly-widdly guitar intro and not enough bass in the production, a proper bit of grit.  ‘Heaven’s On Fire’ pretty much uses the exact same beat as ‘Crazy Crazy Nights’, with elements of the sound of my fave KISS album Lick It Up, bolted on – I like it; could I finally be getting KISS-ed? Not quite, I really can’t think of anything nice to write about ‘Tears Are Falling’, at all.

Kiss Crazy Crazy 03

But this disc isn’t just about the music, it’s about the image and KISS being KISS about selling more stuff to us, hence the three B-sides from three earlier 80’s LPs and the advert for the Kiss Exposed video ‘Can you afford to miss it?’.  Also doubly hence we have the picture of the band relaxing with 9 bikini clad chicks.  Well I say relaxing, the band all look remarkably tense given the situation and the girls definitely have the look that only a gaggle of pneumatic former Homecoming queens who caught the bus to Hollywood from Sticky Gopher, New Mexico to become superstar actresses can really emote, when they have the uncomfortable revelation that being pawed by Gene Simmons today isn’t the first step on the road to stardom, but is in fact what they now have to do to pay for food.

Kiss Crazy Crazy 05

I’m particularly taken with chick in the pink spotty bikini at the front who looks like she’s seen stuff no-one should ever have to see in their lifetime and if Paul doesn’t take his hand off her thigh right now she’ll stab him in the eyeballs with a pen.  It’s also worth checking out the chick to the right of Gene, who is very clearly regretting dropping out of her nursing course last year with every fibre of her being.   Take it away guys!

These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights
These are crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy nights

I thought I'd get into the spirit and drape some of my underwear seductively over the Pic Disc
I thought I’d get into the spirit and drape some of my underwear seductively over the Pic Disc

516 Down.

*I’m sorry, I know how much this band mean to some of my closest bloggeroonies out there, but I can only conjure the love sporadically**.

**but that’s probably just down to stress at work and my age, it’s never happened to me before – look its me, not you!

30 thoughts on “Whew! Here’s A Little Song For Everybody Out There

      1. Journalistic integrity…or fake news?

        It depends, I dunno. Uncle Meat talked me into re-doing Phantom of the Park, and I did, and I’m really glad I did…you’ll see that in probably a week from now. Exposed though…it’s so outdated. Maybe even more than Phantom.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hah! No, but I was far more ignorant of it. I grew up watching Benny Hill, and the Kiss video was the same deal to me. Now I look at it and go, “Jesus Christ guys, this isn’t even clever like Benny Hill.”

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Not a good idea — the wigs would come off!

        In the Kiss video, any time they were actually talking about Kiss or being semi-straight, it was brilliant. But when they were acting the scripted parts, it was awful. Kiss should know by now that scripts don’t read well by them.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. I loved Kiss when I was 5. I used to play my parents’ copies of ‘Dressed To Kill’ and ‘Destroyer’ on my Fisher Price record player, in-between Disney sing-a-longs and the Hokey Pokey.

    I continued to buy their albums from Lick It Up to Crazy, Crazy Nights. At 14 is when I said enough was enough. I found them to be hacks and began playing air drums to Neal Peart and ‘2112’.

    I think Kiss served a purpose in the 70s. I’m still trying to figure out what that purpose was. When I do, I’ll take that knowledge to the grave. Gene Simmons is an absolute turd of a human being. Watch this for proof of that. There’s two more parts you can watch…if you dare.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think you need to get down off the fence on the whole Gene Simmons thing and tell us what you really think, instead of hiding behind all these bland comments. I’ll save the Youtube for my commute tomorrow!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Really enjoyed this one. Reassessing Kiss at the moment, so could relate to this one especially. I really want to like Kiss more than I do – I should. Some really good songs, but there’s something missing. Been listening to the live stuff, too … I dunno. I shall persist!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Indeed – I think you’re spot on about the lack of power. It just sounds too weak at times … doesn’t feel like there’s enough driving it. Like a 1967 Chevy Impala with a 1.0 engine …

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Less good, but sorta – both with roots in Queens, bet they played together at some point.

      I’m still reeling from the whole hosiery fest we put on. Who’d a thunk it? My socks stay away from my mouth, I know where they’ve been!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Geez I never really stared at the cover as much as you 2 Yahoos did! Hahaha…oh yeah Crazy Nights was a good song I mean Uh All Night =Big Dumbo Rock!…haha
    Thanks for posting those Flashbacks in regards to the adds etc and man that’s some funky Underwear…hahaha…
    Great Post Fella!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ahh yeah!!

    I think you MIGHT like this tune more than I do. I agree with you 100% on your description of it, it just rubs me differently. I find it a bit formulaic, even for Kiss. And you hate Tears Are Falling that much? I’d call it my favourite tune on the record! You do have good taste in girls I admit. As a kid I had a crush on the blonde in between Gene and Bruce.

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Mike, it’s appreciated. Yup ‘Tears’ just does nothing for me at all, I do quite fancy buying Animalize though – you’ll recruit me into the KISS army yet.

      I can see you fell for her demure dress sense and shy charms!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think for me its the disparity between the (early) image and great logo / merch and the bands’ lack of power – I saw their stuff around for years before I actually heard any of their music.

        The last time I went to Glastonbury Festival I was 7 and I remember a stall selling badges (always loved those) which was just (in my memory) lined with KISS badges and it made a big impression on me.

        Plus Gene has a habit of coming out with some of the most ass-holey comments in rock; the recent suicide one got me.

        BUT I do really like some bits and pieces here and there.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I am well on record as disapproving of many of Gene’s comments, but especially that one. That upset me, that one of my heroes that encouraged me to stand up for myself and “believe in me” would say that.

        The logo is pretty bad-ass. Thank Ace and Paul for it. Ace designed the original, and Paul refined it and added the curves the to the K.

        Liked by 1 person

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