Dear followers, my chosen ones, I bring you sad tidings.  I’m afraid that I am currently at death’s door – facing the journey to Valhalla, heaven, or wherever the hell those elves (and elite hobbits) sailed to at the end of LOTR.  Mrs 1537 mocked me, jeering that I only have a bad cold, that I was suffering from ‘man-flu’.  Whereas I know that it’s much more serious than that – I’ve got a runny nose AND a sore throat AS WELL as a chesty cough – truly, my race is almost run.  Forsooth.

This is me, going to work this morning. True story.
This is me, going to work this morning. True story.

In fact if it wasn’t for a recent spontaneous act of generosity from Scotland  – for which my nation’s rugby team will repay his nations’ one with a hefty drubbing on Saturday, watched by me – I fear I might even have given up the ghost already.  Jim D(e)ad, or Mr Resurrection as his friends know him sent me the wonderful gift of Masters of Reality which I was already itching to hear again following his excellent review and Songs of The Free by Gang of Four LP and they’re a band I’ve been meaning to dig further into for many years.   Thank you again Jim, your generous gift has probably allowed me to bless this planet with an extra 48 hours of my presence.

Death's Door 01

Death's Door 03

Of a similar ilk, although one involving less gratitude since it involved a hard cash transaction, I also bought my first ever Jimmy Smith LP today Midnight Special.  All I can say is that a) Blue Note weren’t exaggerating when they put ‘The Incredible Jimmy Smith’ on the cover and b) The music is every bit as good as the brilliant cover picture.  I am a cooler, better, more attractive man just for owning this object… for however long I have left.

Death's Door 02

So please all of you, pray to your (other) Gods, offer up sacrifices to the eldritch spirits that with their help I might overthrow my life-threatening sore throat and live to blog about nonsense again.   In the meantime I will try not to walk towards the light.

632 Down (still)


37 thoughts on “Death’s Door

  1. Haha was just thinking about that Jimmy Smith cover art. I mean, you know the train wasn’t moving when they took that photo. And it doesn’t look at all like it WAS moving for effect. So then you’re left wondering WTF that guy is doing hanging off the side of a stationary train like that, suitcase in hand, grin on his face. Like, how long has he been there? Should we ask him to leave? I mean, I know he’s not bothering anybody but it’s just weird. That train car hasn’t left the yard in three years…

  2. It is always concerning when our significant others do not understand the depth of our illness. I hope that you can pull through however unlikely that may be. Obviously this will take some sort of miraculous intervention. Good luck and I look forward to your posting from the great whatever happens next.

  3. Really pleased those LPs have enough fuel to keep you around a tad longer. I’ve heard it said that if you play them in the right order they can cure any ailment. The wrong order, however, can be disastrous. Of course, this is just what I’ve heard.

    That Jimmy Smith album looks marvellous! Great cover! Hanging off a train with a suitcase all casual like.

    ‘Mon the Scotland!

    1. You have to bring everything back to rugby don’t you?! You’re just obsessed.

      It’s true though Smith is a huge Scotland fan, he originally went out as Wee Jimmy Smith and Gavin Hastings guests on tenor sax on this LP. True story.

  4. Now, what song do you want played at the committal? And where the hell are we going to find that track? (Anticipating some far-out choice that none of us have ever heard of.) I’m seeing a funeral pyre (no reference intended) made of albums in the back garden, lit with inflammable material. (reference intended) I hope you do make it through, as I’ve just discovered, through my underworld connections, there’s a circle of hell where Jimmy Osmond’s Long-haired Lover From Liverpool is in terminal loop. Yes,our album covers totally lied to us.

    1. Consider yourself in charge of ceremonies. I know it’s a cliche but I want ‘Fire’ by TCWO Arthur Brown and Ruts ‘Dope For Guns’ (mostly cos I haven’t heard it for years).

      Satan’s a big James Last fan I hear.

  5. In the unlikely event – given how dire it all sounds – that you do pull through, I will be interested in your views on the Gang of Four. I have the two that precede this one and really like the songs when they turn up randomly on a shuffle, but I almost never find myself actively seeking them out (which bothers me now that I’ve become conscious of the fact).

    1. They’re such an interesting band, apparently very hard drinking, hard loving, politically active dudes. Like Skid Row meets Das Kapital? They made the template for so much modern stuff.

      I saw their 2nd LP very cheap yesterday. Very tempted. I need to investigate further. Will report back (possibly via a spiritualist).

  6. “1593?? Yeah, yeah, I remember him, I think. Had some Pinterest tumbler thing about Legos, right?”
    … is what a bunch of idiots will be saying. But don’t worry, we here in the “community” will ensure their ignorance is thwarted and that the world recognizes its loss.

    P.S. If you’ll give me your WP login and password, I’d be happy to manage the online legacy, you know, licensing your images for Dr. Pepper commercials and “Rawk Cruises” and the like. Any reviews I copy into my own eventual published essays will almost certainly give you full credit for your input and stuff, of course.

  7. Holy WOW, it’s J. FTW! What a gift! Community!

    I like the looks of that other LP too. Niiiiice…

    Oh, and as for your cold, I’m with your lovely wife on this one. Suck it up, Buttercup! 🙂

Leave a Reply