I like what Phil Spector was playing at when he released his A Christmas Gift For You album back in 1963, it was after all a knowing tip of the hat to Damaged Goods’ compilation album A Damaged Christmas Gift For You which had been/would be released a mere 61 years later. Bit unstable, but a clever chap nonetheless.
Leaving aside Mr Spector’s knowing pastiche, A Damaged Christmas Gift For You is a rollicking bit of fun put together by self-styled ‘national elf‘ Mr Ian Damaged. A solid 8 of 15 songs here have ‘Christmas’ in their title – sterling work Mr Damaged!
This afternoon after laying some paths and planting a new apple tree in my allotment I settled down with a cup of tea to cop some festive buzz under the pale glow of the Christmas tree lights. As the snowy white vinyl turned at 33 1/3rd I sat back and sipped.
Billy Childish & The Musicians Of The British Empire get us underway with ‘Christmas 1979’, a tale of a not very jolly Christmas spent at home while on ‘punk leave‘ from playing punk rock in Hamburg. Essentially we are left with his violent father coming home pissed falling into his bed and saying ‘Merry fucking Christmas to you all‘; a refrain Childish repeats to the point where it becomes uncomfortable*.
The Courettes give us their 60’s girl group indebted ‘Christmas (I Can Hardly Wait) but I’m more here for Holly Golightly’s upbeat cautionary country honk romp ‘Christmas Tree On Fire’ – ‘I’m beating it back with a tube sock and a cushion from the couch’.
Now I love Joey Ramone more than most but still nowhere near as much as Helen Love**. Is it sacrilege to say that I don’t dig their Casiotone caffeine cover of Ramones’ ‘Merry Christmas (I Don’t Wanna Fight Tonight)’? I hope not. Easier to gulp down is Cuckooland’s sweet power pop inflected ‘Silver Bells’.
Wat Tyler were a strange band^ I loved them though. Their version of ‘God Rest You Merry Gentlemen’ is trad as hell, give or take the emphasis on ‘SATAN’S POWER’; love it*^. ‘Santa Claus’ by Thee Headcoatees, has already been remarked upon in these pages, it is a beautiful Brussels sprout of a song.
Side one of A Damaged Christmas Gift For You concludes with Severe giving Jonah Lewie’s ‘Stop The Cavalry’ the punk rogering it has always needed.
This LP has one real true moment of genius and that is ‘City Of Christmas Ghosts’ by Goldblade featuring Poly Styrene. I love the sentiment and the sentimentality (come on, it’s Christmas!) of it, the widescreen Ennio Morricone-ing of the Shadows-like guitars and ultimate sense of restless ease. It is all the more poignant since Poly’s death too. It made me feel something.
‘The Cute Lepers Christmas Song’ by Cute Lepers has a Thin Lizzy gone power pop swagger and I rather dig the female backing vox; ‘my heart’s on my sleeve on a cold Christmas Eve’, perfect. Then along came TV Smith with the superb ‘Xmas Bloody Xmas’, a brilliantly produced cold-eyed takedown of the season, which it can’t help celebrating despite itself. It is a truly excellent advert for this man’s talent.
The Singing Loins offer a trad take on ‘Ding Dong Merrily On High’ which is all the more wonderful for their rough hewn folk talents. A real gem. Monkhouse give us ‘Guinness And Wine’ a cover-ish of a certain Cliff Richard song, possibly. You can really hear the Leatherface influence of producer Frankie Stubbs right here in its’ mailed fist attack. Excellent.
Which leaves us with Billy Childish, in Buff Medways guise, to close proceedings with ‘Merry Christmas Fritz’. Over maximum R&B guitar energy Mr Childish reaches for the WW1 Christmas truce for his homily of peace and goodwill to all men.
A Damaged Christmas Gift For You is a whole lot of festive fun time with a side order of feeling. I am enough of a Damaged Goods geek fan to be able to suggest about 3 substitutions to the album, based on singles I’ve bought but that’s my problem.
This is a really good alternative Christmas compilation, maybe not one to put on while entertaining great aunt Lucinda and your local vicar to a festive frolic, but perfect for every other social occasion of the season.
All hail Damaged Goods and their contribution to strong independently minded artists and Christmas.
1300 Down (the chimney).
*the smile in the video is priceless. Billy Childish hasn’t spoken to his father since punching him down the stairs at home to protect his mother aged 20, I suspect not long after the events narrated in ‘Christmas 1979’.
**slightly confusingly both a band and a person. I own a lot of their singles.
^Sean, their singer, said that to me in an email once and he should know.
*^although the true WT afficionado, me, would vote for ‘Where’s My Fuckin’ Presents?’ as the superior Wat Tyler festive fun choice.
Good old Damaged Goods, the garage industry par excellence! I remember one Christmas way back all their releases came with cute “Damaged Puds” stickers. Did not know about the Poly Styrene / Gold Blade collab, that’s a cracker (see what I did there…). MFC indeed!
This album is for you what Twisted Radio’s “I Am Santa Claus” is for me, a fun alternative Christmas album. I hope you had a merry F*ckin’ Christmas.
And MFC to you too!
You have a Stonehenge tree ornament! That’s wonderful. Hope the season has been kind to you and the clan, Joe. xo
I do Bruce. Thank you very much indeed and to you and yours; I feel for you sheltering under those snowy Australian skies at this time of year, trudging through the snow to do your Christmas visiting.
The Phil Spector album gets heavy rotation from me every year. I’ll have to find the Damaged version for variety.
Merry fucking Christmas to you all.
Thank you Zack – much love mate.