Too Many Bears In Your Honey

You got too many bees in your honey
Am I just another word in your page, yeah, yeah

So sang Mr Bret Michaels in 1990, showing a blatant lack of apicultural knowledge.  Listen Bret, honey is formed by bees from nectar using a process of continual regurgitation and evaporation, thus creating a food source when food is scarcer for the hive during the winter months.  You don’t get bees in it.  What you may have been better writing about Bret, is so-called Toxic Honey*, which is honey made from rhodedendron and oleanders (amongst select other flowers) which can cause honey intoxication, symptoms involve extreme perspiration, dizziness and narcolepsy.

So anyway, that’s him told.

Unskinny bop 01

Poison Unskinny Bop, was a 12″ I was looking forward to hearing tonight for some harmless picture disc fun.  I remember when it came out I got quite excited because it was all slinky, boppy and dancey.  I’ve always thought of Poison as a pop band really, a good one.  I still listen to Open Up and Say ….. Ahh! fairly often and enjoy it too and don’t get me started on teenage trauma and ‘Every Rose Has it’s Thorn’.  Hell, I could dance to this one.

Unskinny Bop starts with a neat fast picking intro called ‘Swamp Juice (Soul-o)’, before hitting the title track.  Sadly I found it all a bit clumsy and flat when I listened to it again tonight, even the skittish rhythm and C.C DeVille’s guitar fills and frills that I liked so much first time around.  Maybe it’s a mood thing but I really couldn’t see what I used to like so much here.

Unskinny bop 03

I never bought Flesh & Blood the LP this came from, it was far cheaper to tape my mate Geraint’s copy, but I liked it, particularly the ballad ‘Somethin’ to Believe In’ – I do have a bit of a fatal weakness for 80s/90s ballads, maybe one day an arch enemy will be able to exploit it.  My second fave track was a really strong AOR-ish one called ‘Valley of Lost Souls’, which crops up on the B-side of Unskinny Bop, it deserved a bit better I thought then and I still do actually; it’s very much of its time, but still sounded pretty good to me this evening.

The last track though (ahem), ‘Poor Boy Blues’, is an execrable idea and an even worse song that should have been strangled at birth and buried at midnight in an unmarked grave, before being urinated upon by bears.   True story.

256 Down.

Unskinny bop 02

*the name for my forthcoming all-girl soft metal band.

26 thoughts on “Too Many Bears In Your Honey

      1. I chose it appropriately.

        Seriously though, it’s one of those “what the F was he thinking?” moments. He sounds like he’s trying to be a Mississippi bluesman in the 1930’s, while being a white guy from Pennsylvania.

      2. I blame it on their groupie supercomputer, remember that? It seemed so revolutionary and future-sleazetastic at the time. A skank spreadsheet.

      3. I’m really not big on music DVDs but I love this one; although I also loved the Fly on The Wall video back in the day.

        I wish I was Bon – up to a point!

  1. Rarely in my 1537 history has the ‘Like’ button so clearly signified the tension between ‘I liked (enjoyed) reading your post’ and ‘I like (enjoy) the music you’re writing about’. That’s a big ‘Yes’ for the former and let’s leave it there, shall we?

    PS. Really I just cannot tolerate big hair. It’s an abomination, an affront to nature. Spleen vented. Feel better now. Will re-read the Isaac Hayes post for comfort.

    1. Thank you, I feel your ‘like’ dichotomy keenly and appreciate the end result.

      I just felt that too many rockers glibly trot out untruths about beekeeping, misleading their fans. It was time to take a stand.

      We’re evolving out of hair, some of us harbingers of a better tomorrow just got here early.

  2. I never went past the ‘Open Up’ album. By the time this album came out I was in a deep, dark Rush phase. I couldn’t be bothered with the pretty boys of Sunset Strip any longer. I’d also discovered Mudhoney and Screaming Trees. It was goodnight hair metal for me.

    Having said that, those first two Poison albums were pivotal moments in my teen years. Their mix of pop, metal, and androgyny made for a very interesting couple years in junior high. My take on “Talk Dirty To Me” at the 7th grade talent show in 1986 won me more than a few winks and longing looks from the opposite sex.

    Sometimes, you gotta cry tough.

  3. I tried to be fair, trying to to hear what you hear, but, alas this was the period that kicked me out of metal and I still know why. I hear the pop craft and the uncomplicated fun, though. That’s worth something!

    Urinated on by bears? I’ll take your word on that one.

      1. I’d always advocate using a Pro ursine Micturologist, unless you really know what you’re doing. It avoids injury and serious embarrassment (for the bear).

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