As I may have said before I’m a comparatively new convert to thrash metal, It’s true I fought on the wrong side in the great Thrash/Glam war; but I’ve been rehabilitated now. One of my favourite musical discoveries of the last couple years was Municipal Waste The Art of Partying, sadly it doesn’t exist on vinyl and I had…to…download…it. It’s just so wrong, but the album is just so right! I listen to it at least once a week, usually in the gym and its hard, funny, catchy and just all round amazingly incredibly amazing. How can an album with a track called ‘Sadistic Magician’ be anything else? but as it’s not on vinyl I’m not here to talk about it.
Late one tipsy night I found a split 12″ by Municipal Waste and Toxic Holocaust called Toxic Waste on Ebay and paid for it, from the States; ouch! still why would my kids want to go to university anyway? no book learning never done me no good. Even better, it’s got an ace gruesome cover, a commemorative can coozy thingy with ‘Speed Metal Punx’ on it*, a lyric sheet, sticker, poster and it’s a Picture Disc. Sheer vinyl-nerd heaven. Oh and about 9 minutes of music on it.
Municipal Waste contribute ‘Mourning Sex’, a charming ditty which I’ll probably have as the first dance at my next wedding, about necrophilia – naturally. It gains massive 1537 bonus points for the immortal lines:
Lifeless Mass or piece of ass
A difference I can’t see
It really is a good track too, the rhythm section of Ryan Waste and Landphil^ is perfection itself. Municipal Waste, despite the LP covers tend towards the funnier, drinking, partying end of the thrash spectrum normally. Their second track is Trapped In The Sites’ (their spelling, not mine) about the Washington Sniper in October 2002, it is just classic Waste, including a brilliant chorus which slows down and chugs just right before it speeds up again for the verses. I found out the hard way that head banging and running on a treadmill are not compatible activities listening to this track this morning.
Toxic Holocaust, who I’d not even heard of prior to buying this record are a far scarier bunch by far – to the point where I only listen to them in the daylight with the sound turned right down in case Satan comes to claim me for his sex slave; you can’t be too careful about these things. ‘We Bring ‘Em Hell’ lists all the things TH would like to do to you and your neighbourhood, essentially – gratuitous violence and damage to property, Toxic Holocaust aren’t here to mow your lawn for you, or wash the car. Which is fine but like a lot of similar bands, they come over like a bunch of 13 year-old boys looking to shock Old Mrs Johnson down the road by being all potty-mouthed; sometimes it’s funny, sometimes not, sometimes I have time for it, sometimes not. ‘Altar-ed States’, which deals with the experience of death and being is by far the heaviest thing here and possibly the heaviest thing I own on vinyl, it’s mean and lean, not a single note wasted anywhere, the precision is almost military, a really impressive track.
So there you go 9 beautifully packaged minutes of mayhem. Altogether now,
We are the speed metal punks
We party in Hell
Thrashing in Hades with Satan himself
More tea vicar?
*which I think would instantly make me the toast of any high society gathering I found myself at.
^my favourite rock name ever.