Bongos! Bongos!! Bongos!!!

Hahaha, there are very few words that amuse me more than bongos. In the 1537 household it is frequently invoked as a synonym for breasts, occasionally for testicles and the Viz-magazine approved term ‘Bongo mag’ is often employed for one-handed pictorial literature*.

Yes, my development was arrested at 11; then summarily convicted and thrown into the slammer for life.

So, gentle reader I may have been guilty of not taking the bongo as seriously as I should. Therefore with all due humility I offer up my review of The Incredible Bongo Band Bongo Rock as redress and promise I shan’t snigger once again too much.

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A quick historiobongolic overview. The bongo is a small Afro-Cuban double drum one larger ‘male’ and one smaller ‘female’** and was outlawed in 1929 by the Cuban government; no wonder the populace eventually rebelled^.

Now fast forwards to 1973 and one Michael Viner, Harvard educated politico then record company exec, who worked for Robert Kennedy and then produced Richard Nixon’s 1973 inaugural ball^^ whilst working for MGM. He put together the Incredible Bongo Band to soundtrack a schlock horror movie cheaply, using available (mostly uncredited, I assume for contract reasons) musicians in Canada (for CanCon reasons) and thus set in motion a catalyst that would change electro and hip-hop irrevocably decades later.

Credited to Michael Viner’s Incredible Bongo Band^* Bongo Rock was unleashed on an unsuspecting world in 1973. Whatever the world was waiting for 50 years ago, an instrumental funk LP of bongo-led covers with a couple of newies chucked in didn’t seem to quite fit the bill.

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For the confirmed bongoholic Bongo Rock is a slight disappointment in that only 50% of tracks have the word ‘bongo(s)’ in the title – ‘Duelling Bongos’, ‘Bongolia’, Bongo Rock’ and, personal favourite song title (possibly ever) ‘Last Bongo In Belgium’.

Brushing that aside Bongo Rock is an amusing, decidedly cheesy listen. You could make a good case for every single song here soundtracking an adult movie full of pneumatic ladies and large gentlemen with impressive moustaches; various beastly boys spent large chunks of the 90’s trying to ape this vibe. It is fun.

For me the musical standouts are ‘Raunchy ’73’ a striptease adjacent cover of an old tune and their cover of ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’, which ranks third in my fave covers of this track*^.

History however has come down heavily on the side of ‘Apache’, a song I erroneously thought was a Shadows original. It was (re)discovered by turntablist DJ Kool Herc in the late 70’s and changed the course of popular music in the US and that isn’t an exaggeration. Producers still talk about and use ‘the Apache break’.

Bongo Rock‘s afterlife is quite astonishing, you can get a full list of samples online, but for me ‘Last Bongo In Belgium’ is the apex. It was used for Massive Attack ‘Angel’, Beastie Boys ‘Looking Down The Barrel Of A Gun’ and Leftfield ‘Song Of Life’, three songs I love.

I really enjoy the fact that Bongo Rock is simultaneously a bit naff, a bit great and very much epoch-making, just a later epoch that nobody foresaw at the time. It’s a vindication of cheapo exploitative novelty records forever.

There’s a reason this isn’t just the Average Bongo Band, or the Barely Adequate Bongo Band, their legacy is indeed incredible. Their second LP has a freaky as hell cover and the Beatles drummer, Bongo Starr was involved. All hail the power of the bongo!

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My copy of Bongo Rock is a RSD 2021 version with a mirrored sleeve, Obi strip and silver (more grey) vinyl. It was cheap but I really do think they could have chucked together some info to throw to us slavering nerds. It’s a bit cheap and exploitative … oh.

Bongos!!!

1214 Down.

PS: Great performance here by Bongo Scott:

PPS: most photos here stolen from the internet due to the, frankly, excessive shininess of the LP. Thank you to those who upbongoed them there.

*although ‘Jazz mag’ also raises a titter.

**the male bongo is termed the macho; which I like, as it’s clearly just trying a bit too hard. Like a chihuahua named Fang, or indeed my own bespoke aftershave, currently in the R&D phase, Wolf Gland.

^locally Castro’s revolution was known as La larga noche de los bongos; literally ‘the long night of the bongos’. A fact that I have just made up in my brain for you.

^^I feel fairly confident in declaring that Nixon didn’t dig bongos.

^*I have arbitrarily dropped his name as the cat simply did not, to the best of my knowledge, bongo.

*^not a snide remark as all three covers are astonishingly good. In ranking order – Boney M, Slayer and then Incredible Bongo Band; the original would come fourth in this company.