Being the great big tease I am I left you after my review of Electro Hippies The Only Good Punk … Is A Dead One hinting that it held this year’s Christmas song for me.
So here it is, ‘Turkeys’ by Electro Hippies. What could be more festive than a heart-warming ditty addressing that staple of the Christmas table? nothing, that’s what.
I think it is safe to say that Electro Hippies brand of vegetarianism and animal rights advocacy is somewhat more violent than my own; but far more entertaining.
(Note for non UK readers: the lyrics contain references to Bernard Matthews a renowned turkey producer, who used to advertise on national TV all the time over here).
If I was a turkey, with my priorities straight,
I’d peck out his eyes and shred up his face,
he wouldn’t turn me into a crispy crumb steaks,
mixed up with sawdust and shit from my crate.
But I’m not a turkey and you make me sick,
I might only speak softly, but I carry a big stick,
and a can full of petrol to set you alight,
a 12stone Bernie-Burger, that bootiful alright!
I wrote you a letter, but you didn’t reply,
was that cos, I asked you to fuck off and die?
Which I think we can all agree readers, is surely approaching the true meaning of Christmas.
Joy and harmony to you all.
902 Down (still)
Coming to all good Christmas compilations soon.