Turn the tables with our unity They're neither moral nor a majority Wake up and smell the coffee Or just say no to individuality
I bought this record for a tuneful slice of grunge rebellion and ended up with a full-on manifesto for life. Welcome to L7 Pretend We’re Dead 12″, on picture disc, natch; 1992 never got any better than this.
Time to unleash the bugbear, why the fudging flip did L7 never get more kudos than they got?* they were such an incredibly cool band, born out of that wonderful nexus between the hard rock and punk scenes where a good 98.65% of my favourite music comes from**. They were just great, their debut LP on Epitaph and Smell The Magic just perfect – mean, gnarly, downright ornery and often funny. Their absolute determination never to play the game was laudable, but more to the point they really rocked.
By 1992 Bricks Are Heavy was their big hit out for the fences, Pretend We’re Dead was the most tuneful, catchiest track on there. Producer Butch Vig really picked up and honed the melodies perfectly on this track and it is still a great listen.
My memories of them performing it live though involved much more pummelling. I remember seeing their performance live on The Word^ as it went out that got them banned from TV in the UK after Donita Sparks dropped her trousers.
Watching it back for the first time 28 years later I am struck more by Dee Plakas’ incredible drumming than the below-the-belt nudity.
Skipping something important for a second, the B-side contained the non-album ‘Lopsided Head’ and the LP track ‘Mr Integrity’. The former is my favourite, a real menacing rocker just pulsing with energy and intent.
Mark where I stand when I'm alone The lights are poppin' There's a psycho at home A shake in my voice and a twitch in my eye Lost one again in an outlaw's lie
That’s a convincing line from this band. ‘Mr Integrity’ is similar, but doesn’t punch as hard for me although the sneering put down ‘Don’t preach to me/ Mr Integrity‘ is a winner.
For me though the real pay dirt on Pretend We’re Dead was ‘Shitlist’ (another album track). This one is a real nasty grind with a great melodic edge. Rarely has a song captured my beliefs as well as this one too^*.
I believe in revenge, pure and simple. I’m a placid, pacifistic type but if you wrong me, I’ll get you back^^; it may take years, but you’ll get yours. Never forgive, never forget. I fully appreciate that this is not the mindset of a grown-up person, or indeed a remotely psychiatrically healthy outlook, but it’s the one I done gotten.
When I get mad and I get pissed I grab my pen and I write out a list Of all the people that won't be missed You've made my shitlist! For all the ones who bum me out Shitlist! For all the ones who fill my head with doubt Shitlist! Of all you assholes who won't be missed Shitlist!
Just listen to that grinding rhythm section, that inexorable ascent to the point where Donita Sparks (I think) totally loses it. I know I overuse the word ‘perfect’ but hey, it fits here. I enjoy a bit of righteous anger and true malice every so often. Don’t mess.
Such an excellent band and Pretend We’re Dead is a really great 12″ single. Whilst I am busy surfing the tide of my own hipness I’m not sure if this is the time to confess that I have never got around to replacing my old taped copy of Bricks Are Heavy. Probably not.
Maybe I need to add myself to my shit list? it’d only be fair; look at all that fun and enjoyment I’ve been denying myself. Yeah. I better sleep with one eye open, because I’ll be coming for, umm, me when I least expect it. Asshole!
1037 Down (on my shitlist).
PS: Beep Beep.
*upon reflection I am truly sorry for my language there but I got so gosh-darned cross about it!
**percentages correct at time of writing and independently verified by scientists from CERN, on their lunchbreak after a hard morning stoking the collider.
^mostly dire UK TV show which was an absolute must-watch when I was at university, mostly for some incredible live performances.
^*Jimmy Cliff ‘The Harder They Come’ being the main one I try to live my life by and the only one I usually admit to.
^^to the utterly moronic extent of taking ‘revenge’ on inanimate objects that hurt, or thwart me; much to my wife’s, rightful, scorn.