Ever wondered how many people in the world are playing the same music as you are at the same time?* I played a fairly well-known prism-adorned LP from last night and idly wondered how many other folks were listening to it in the dark simultaneously across the globe, before wondering if there was a neat-o literary sci-fi plot idea in being able to travel in time and space between all the instances of it being played at random; zapping all over from Oregon through to Oz, Oxford, Ostrava, Okinawa, Oyo and Oberhausen^, solving crimes, selflessly righting wrongs, zapping baddies with lasers and de-clothing chicks.
Which is all well and good if you suddenly gain the power to travel via the auspices of the third best-selling album of all time, but what if, due to an interdimensional admin error, the Titans of Ra only granted you the power to travel using the 1980 compilation Metal For Muthas, Volume II: Cut Loud? I rather suspect you might have been waiting around in the vortices of time and space for a while. In fact I was a little concerned that some straggly bearded skinny dude clad in cock-throttling jeans, Hi-Tec baseball boots and a Praying Mantis T-shirt would somehow come tumbling into the room through my turntable as I cued it up tonight.
MFM II, as I shall henceforth call it, was EMI’s rushed through sequel to the influential NWOBHM compilation Metal For Muthas, which helped launch the careers of Nutz and the E.F Band into the stratosphere as well as providing double loser ballast in the shape of callow no-hopers Iron Maiden. Both LPs came out in 1980 and all was metallic and groovy, the first volume even had a badly drawn mounted warrior/guitarist with diamond tits on the cover*^, they couldn’t be arsed even giving MFM II that much care, just a bit of a blue cover. Who cares though because we’re going snuffling for NWOBHM truffles tonight!
The compilers of MFM II, having given Maiden two tracks on the first volume, clearly wanted to kickstart the career of the Suffolk-based band Trespass this time out, book ending the LP with ‘One Of These days’ and ‘Storm Child’ respectively. History shows us this was not to be, but the band give it a damned good go anyway. ‘One of These Days’ is an absolute stonker too, a grandiose feel, great playing and some really biting guitars – it has classic just written all over it, proper rock. ‘Storm Child’ has a certain Hawkwind-meets-Deep-Purple quality to it, slightly disassociated vocals teamed with some proper guitar crunch going on behind the scenes. You would think after this showing Trespass would at least get a chance, but no, they imploded and didn’t release an LP until they reformed twelve years later in 1992.
Eazy Money ‘Telephone Man’ is about as weird as it gets in these circles, Marc Storace (later of Krokus fame) sings in the most bizarre strangulated yelp^* and the song is drenched in precisely the sort of keyboards that were against the NWOBHM credo, some very nice twin guitars and a very odd rhythm. It is apparently their only recording and perhaps that was for the best, once a decade is fine for me. Xero were an equally obscure London band, who briefly worked with a young Bruce Dickinson and their offering here ‘Cutting Loose’ has a well sung vocal and yet more melodic twin guitars – this crew beat Trespass even, their first album being released in 2015 – 32 years on from their debut single.
I like Janick Gers far too much to tell you what I think of White Spirit ‘High Upon High’ but Dark Star bring side 1 to a rollicking, swashbuckling end with ‘Lady of Mars’, which sounds a bit like Wishbone Ash in a very bad mood. Highly recommended.
High energy US infiltrators Horsepower contribute ‘You Give Me Candy’, which steals some licks and attitude from Montrose to great effect and, as far as the internet is concerned, totally mysterious dudes Red Alert give us the workmanlike ‘Open Heart’. Early 70’s survivors Chevy give us ‘Chevy’ which is all very competent, but a bit lacking in bite, bollocks and The Raid ‘Hard Lines’ which is the exact opposite.
I enjoyed playing MFM II a lot tonight, there was more good on here than I remembered and I do have a bit of a thing for odds and sods metal compilations. I always find that the enthusiasm of the NWOBHM bands is always infectious. Plus I hope I may have inadvertently managed to speed any number of intradimensional vortex travellers along their merry way.
847 Down.
*this is one of those rhetorrrywhatsitical questions, even I the almighty and all-powerful 1537 don’t know the answer**.
**Cambridge Analytica probably do though.
^and that’s just the O’s.
*^Diamond Tits, from Partick, being one of the least successful NWOBHM bands ever.
^*I’m guessing it might have been a problem with his jeans cutting off the blood supply to his vocal chords, or something.
Is that the limited edition Graham Bonnet Lego I spot in the side 2 label photo?
Both of those embedded tunes sound great, but I must admit to be temporarily thrown by the Dark Star description. Trying to imagine Wishbone Ash in a bad mood is like trying to imagine Richard Simmons on ‘ludes; it just doesn’t compute.
It is the Graham Bonnet minifigure. I have a hobbit one that I can double as Dio if needs be too!
Haha, did you never see that Wishbone Ash video on YouTube where they admit to shooting a man in Reno just to watch him die?
Coming soon- Metal for Muthas Vol III*
Featuring- ‘The Chrome Shock Absorbers’ and ‘Peniz’
Please note: As graphic design and packaging budgets were both drank, record comes without sleeve. Use only as directed. terms and conditions apply.
Haha! Hmm, Peniz.
It was the best I could come up with in the 20 seconds I had.
By the way I really loved this review, especially the bit about that group Iron Maiden. Now where have I heard that name before.
You’ve heard of them? Wow, respect. You’re clearly a scholar of obscure British 80s metal bands.
That cover should have been put aside for some tinkly eno-esque ambient spaciness, shouldn’t it?
I quite agree, either that or they should have forked out for a spiky goblin drawing, same as everybody else.
I remember getting Vol 2 for 99p not long after it came out, But I don’t know what I did with it. I think I must have got rid of it when I started having a bit of a downer on cheap compilations – if only I’d have kept it…
On current Discogs valuation you’d have doubled your money Darren! Bet you’re kicking yourself now!
It’s like when I was 16 and I paid £7 for a rare deleted late 70s Slade single. Looked it up on Record Collector price guide a couple of years ago and delighted to find 40 odd years later it was worth £8.
Brilliant! We’ve all got stories like that, haven’t we? I was going to retire early on the proceeds of my Marillion picture discs.
I’m currently listening to my ears ringing from my Cold!
Gah!
I always wondered about Gers and White Spirit …Kind of a fitting band name for him as he is the Hippy Like Dude in Maiden!
Really intriguing opening rhetorrrywhatsitical question – I’ll be pondering that as I’m listening to whatever I’m listening to as the day goes on!
Wow this is awesome. Seriously.
And yeah, they drank the graphic design budget.
Cheers Mr.
Fair enough they drank it, but even so … not even a crap pencil drawing of a space amazon warrior totin a flying V? come on guys, this is metal!
I think you’re supped to be able to see the V in your mind, if you know what I mean…
What you’e said about this album on your post combined with that track, I’m going to have to give this a try. BTW, what ever happened to that band Iron Maiden?
I heard the bassist guy was stacking supermarket shelves in Streatham.
Ha ha ha ha and the lead singer drives a taxi.
I only knew about the first one!!!
There was this one, a 4 track 12″ EP and then a 1992 Japanese only CD release of unsigned British bands. I only own this one.
You’d like this one I think.
I think I would. I have that Lars Ulrich NWOBHM CD. I got it as for my birthday when I was 20 or 21. It was right in the middle of grunge and I fell in love with NWOBHM immediately. In the context of hearing all those bands in the grunge era, it was like, “Holy shit this is fresh!”
It just all seemed so innocent and uncalculated, folks from (mostly) little towns all over the UK making music because they were really excited to do it and because they loved it.
I would argue NWOBHM was possibly the biggest legacy of the UK punk scene.
It could be. A lot of the other legacies burned out quick. Just seems (to my ears) there were sooo many bands.
Brilliant. Really enjoyed this one. Opening paragraph was just brilliant. Maybe the kind of thing that’ll happen in Bill & Ted 3.
Moving on, you’ve sold Dark Star to me. Just when I’m saying “I’m not buying anything for a bit”… I’m away to investigate.
Thank you very kindly. One day such travel will be possible, trust me I’ve sort of taken over from Stephen Hawking recently.
Boycotted this because of the lack of diamond tits but it sounds fun. The Dark Star album has been on my wishlist for years! But apart from White Spirit, I don’t know any of this stuff.
Diamond Tits are always heralded as the great lost NWOBHM band aren’t they?
The Trespass tracks are very good. I have a real thing for this era, just bought a great Vardis LP the other week.
The Dark Star isn’t pricey on vinyl, did Rock Candy do a Cd of it recently?
Yes they did, that’s the one I’d go for. What Vardis LP did you get? Not heard them either.
Diamond Tits should have been huge. Partick was the NWOBHM epicentre after all.
100mph, it’s really good stuff too – well named, it is full throttle. Great guitarist dude.
Leppard Tits and Maiden Tits were both from Partick too, weren’t they?
Yes but they were also-rans. Angel Witch Tits shocked, rocked, and made those guys look average stock.
Was it them who did the legendary Soundhouse Tits?
The very same.
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGHlDqxEvNo&w=560&h=315%5D
I love the movie plot, but couldn’t it be based around one of those Punk-O-Rama albums instead?
Happily!
As long as there were still chicks.
It could be just like Quantum Leap, but gnarlier.