Authenticity, meaning it, not ripping your fans off, doing it for the kids – all a bit overrated in my view, give me a cheapo cash-in to buy any day, especially if it comes in a shite cover and I’ve got most of the songs already! Enter: Sex Pistols Flogging A Dead Horse, 1980’s singles collection from a band who only ever made one LP with their proper line-up.
Obviously I’m a highly intelligent, handsome, discerning kind of guy who owns a, much cherished, copy of Never Mind The Bollocks so why did I buy it? Partly because I just love the cynicism at work here, I truly do – bundle up a load of shit, wrap it up in a crappy cover, call it Flogging A Dead Horse for God’s sake! and sit back and let the punters buy it. Well consumer, you could never say you weren’t warned. But the other parts of the equation was to get my hands on two B-sides, ‘No Fun’ and ‘Did You No Wrong’, as well as an urge to just pay homage to the gods!
Because, dear reader, they were fucking gods. Born as a conceptual joke, a vehicle for mischief and shaking up the status quo*, through a completely fortuitous mix of personalities and latent talents they became such an incredible band so quickly, it was like making Semtex by accident by randomly chucking some chemicals together in a lab. They were just too good. I love this about them, it all just combined perfectly, because of Matlock’s song writing abilities, Jones and Cook’s locking together and Rotten’s feral sarcasm, instead of just being McLaren’s little dolls, his agents in the destruction of rock – they simply became ROCK and banged out one of the great rock LPs. Of course the fallout and messiness that followed the split of the original band diluted what had been there, but they were still capable of banging out more than a few good tunes.
I would argue that Flogging A Dead Horse is the best way to get the full rock hit from the Sex Pistols, none of that wussy oddness and sharp corners that distracted from their full-on rock assault**. The first side alone contains their four biggest hitters, ‘Anarchy In The UK’, ‘God Save The Queen’, ‘Pretty Vacant’ and ‘Holidays In The Sun’, four of my favourite punk/rock songs ever*^ and four quite incredible singles period. The playing, the intensity, the sheer noise of them all. I always hum ‘Holidays In The Sun’ to myself in a totally non-ironic fashion whenever I go on a holiday, umm, in the sun; I can’t help it. But what a track! It’s those goose-stepping feet at the beginning that get me, can there be any more exciting start to a song? From there on in, you just know how great this is going to be.
The singles are interspersed with B-sideiness. I’m no real fan of ‘I Wanna Be Me’, but ‘Did You No Wrong’ is pure dumb rock, set up and punctuated with some real guitar greatness by Steve Jones; I first heard this track on his great 1989 Fire & Gasoline LP with Axl Rose on vocals. Even better though is their six-minute long cover of the Stooges’ ‘No Fun’, which is one of those rare beasts a cover of a song I really like, being even better than the original. Right from the start you get the sense you’re at the start of a rollercoaster, that bit, that lip just before you start to hurtle downwards as Rotten announces,
Right here we go now
A sociology lecture
With a bit of psychology
A bit of neurology
A bit of fuckology
No fun …
Even then you have to wait, Jones’ rebooting of the riff is so vast that it almost needs room to breathe before it crashes down on you. Rotten never, ever sounded so wild, so pained, so vital again as he did on ‘No Fun’, it’s almost frighteningly good at one point as he rages, sneers and screams. Iggy never got halfway close to this. In his autobiography Rotten: No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish he mentions how much he liked Iggy but that he found a flippancy about his lyrics he didn’t like, although he doesn’t change the lyrics here, it’s his sheer performance that drags this track over the cliff face. David Goodman just captures a vast, cavernous sound here. No fun? I disagree.
The second side of Flogging A Dead Horse just can’t compete, but given what it’s up against, that’s no disgrace. Whilst I do have a soft spot for Sid’s Eddie Cochran fixation, I was raised on the originals and I’ll stick with them thanks. Sid’s ‘My Way’ is always good, an appallingly egotistical tune given the back alley beating it so richly deserves. I have a lot of time for their angry cover of ‘(I’m Not Your) Stepping Stone’, which has another, umm, vicious performance from Rotten^ and ditto the band’s great, poppy post-Rotten single ‘Silly Thing’, which originally had a very rude title indeed.
Overall though my fave track on side two is ‘No One Is Innocent’, train robber Ronnie Biggs’ bow on vocals. The band, effectively Jones and Cook, are absolutely at the top of their game here in this outrage-athon as Biggs lists various horrible folk who need some understanding. It’s crass, there’s a tasteless reference to Nazis^* and the gang vocals would give rise to a whole genre of thrashy terrace-chanting punks who came afterwards^^, and yet .. and yet .. I really like it. There’s something ridiculously English about the whole enterprise, travelling to Rio especially to record vocals from a criminal on the run from British justice.
God save politicians, God save our friends the pigs
God save Idi Amin and god save Ronald Biggs
God save all us sinners, God save your blackest sheep
God save the good samaritan and god save the worthless creep
But that’s enough about the music, I’m a much shallower prospect than that. Jamie Reid designed the cover as cheaply as he could, hiring the cheapest model he could find, keeping all the fonts bland – it’s designed to look like one of those cheapo pop hits LP’s you used to find at the time, with all the original songs replaced by session musicians. Ghastly. And just in case that and the title were a bit too subtle for you the back cover of Flogging A Dead Horse features a (fake) dog turd on a gold disc for Never Mind The Bollocks. If you didn’t get the joke/comment/complex visual metaphor then please, please, just get out of here you freaking knuckle dragger.
I’ll swear I just saw the horse move, a bit.
584 Down.
*and probably Status Quo.
**which are precisely what elevated Never Mind The Bollocks to greatness.
*^Hey why not run the two words together? we could invent a whole new genre and everywhere I went people would point at me and say, ‘Look daddy, that’s the man who invented Rockpunk’.
^see what I did there?
^*which we’re much more sensitive about today, than we ever were back then just 33 years after the war ended, look at how many UK comedy shows featured men dressed as Nazis (step forwards Monty Python). The past is a very strange country sometimes.
^^to much brain-dead effect.
Great description of No Fun and given that I’m a big fan of the Stooges original I guess I should look for it. I’ve never heard anything by the Pistols other than the original album.
Thank you Ovidiu. My advice is approach the rest of their discography with caution, there’s some great stuff and a pile of rubbish in there too.
I’d like to hear their rendition of “No Fun”. How much of the album features Sid Vicious?
Pretty much the second half, before that, the best stuff, is all Glen Matlock. Although I think Steve Jones played bass on most of the later stuff as well, so it may be a moot point how much Sid played on, rather than sang on.
A bit of a side-note…have you read Johnny Rotten’s books? I hear that he has a fairly new one out.
Didn’t know this.
DId you ever seen John Lydon on Judge Judy?
No…I would definitely watch that. What happened? Was he deported? 🙂
No he was being sued by a former keyboard player. There’s a clip on youtube…
Oh no. I don’t like it when bands fight. Can’t it be all about the beauty and music (and heroin/anti-establishment rage/whatever)? I shall seek this out. Thanks, Mike!
Former drummer my bad. It’s funny.
It must be hilarious! I love it already, unseen.
Judge finds in favour of Johnny Lydon, to white he responds, “A fairly obvious conclusion…” LOL
“I think he’d be better off as a painter, or a decorator.”
Haha! Ouch! Well, I’d expect no less from him. The drummer should have known better and, especially, declined the Judge Judy appearance.
I hate to say it Danica, because there are certainly better ways to spend my time…but I do watch Judge Judy. And 50% of the time, I think to myself, “Whyyyyy would you want to be on TV humiliating yourself.”
It must be true that a lot of people really want to be on TV. Maybe the producers have very slick staff who convince everyone that their case is a slam-dunk win for them and appearance will be awesome.
It’s possible, and also there’s an appearance fee. I notice as she’s getting older she’s getting nastier and more cynical! I’ve seen her accuse people of pursuing cases just to be on TV. “Did you have a good flight? Was this your first time in California? Was the hotel to your satisfaction?”
That’s funny! Her ratings must be better than ever. Ah yes, the ever-popular appearance fees, hotels, limos from the airport….
I think she looks more and more like Iron Maiden’s Eddie.
Ah ha!
https://youtu.be/K3L7xIJ3aDo
It’s called “Anger Is an Energy: My Life Uncensored”.
I read the first one Rotten: No Blacks, No Dogs, No Irish. It was a very good read too.
I thank you!
Man, this takes me back to seeing their debut gig at the Manchester Free Trade Hall along with thousands and thousands of other enthusiastic soon-to-be-fans… Pretty heady gig for a one-year-old! Crazy days.
Isn’t that when you invented the pogo, The Smiths and modern computing, that evening?
Well, I don’t like to brag but… YES. I did all of those things. And no-one else was involved. A busy night for sure.
So this is a hits/rarities disc? Sounds right up my alley. Although there is that 4 disc (?) version of Bollocks out there. I’d have to see if there is much overlap.
I suspect the 4 Bollocks will have it covered, but you won’t get the cover with a turd on though! I mean, Come on!
Well, you know me and turds!
I have heard of this album before, but never investigated because everyone always said, “You only need one Pistols album.”
I am pleased that they are wrong.
I love ’em all, but the live stuff I’ve heard has never been worth having. You’d really like the Seve Jones LP, I’d bet.
I know I would. I’ve never run across it. I reviewed that ’96 live Pistols album, and it is quite excellent. I imagine a 70’s recording in those dingy clubs wouldn’t be quite so sonically perfect.
Is it four CDs? I found a 3CD/1DVD set and it’s stupid expensive. Is there a different one?
I dunno. I was kind of asking, myself! Must be the 3 CD 1 DVD.
Well, it looks pretty, but not for that much cash.
http://www.amazon.ca/Never-Mind-Bollocks-book-poster/dp/B0087ZFH9Y/ref=sr_1_5?s=music&ie=UTF8&qid=1442611195&sr=1-5&keywords=never+mind+the+bollocks
Absolutely NO WAY for that kind of cash. I paid less than that for my JAPANESE Thin Lizzy 6 CD box set!
I know. There’s a 2CD that’s a bit better, but I think you already have that one?
Me, I’m over here with my old original LP and CD! 🙂
Yes that is the one I have. I think I can consider other box sets by other bands more essential for my collection than this!
I have this album in my DNA. Would I be mucking things up to consider the 2CD set? I mean, at this point it’s hard for me to imagine anything could top this concise, perfect gem of an album…
I don’t think it’s required. I actually paid a lot of money for it when it came out, and I told T-Rev I was pretty disappointed at the time. I paid like $35 with discount.
Hm. But you’re not a Pistols fan like I am… still I just wonder if at this point anything extra would just detract what from the album’s coding into my DNA…
Let’s say this: if we see it (used) in Taranna for a decent price, I might just get it! But full price? No. That sets a parameter…
Jaysus!
Yes?
A bit better over here, but still expensive.
http://www.discogs.com/Sex-Pistols-Never-Mind-The-Bollocks-Heres-The-Sex-Pistols/release/3890598
My friend had this back in the day on LP. It was never officially released here, only available as an import, so I dubbed a copy on cassette, as was the style of the time, but my cassettes have moved on long ago. I’ve since replaced Great R&R Swindle, but I see versions of this aren’t too pricey so may have to pick it up! I also love all three releases mentioned.
All their best rockers on one side of vinyl, what more could a chap need?
Mnah. Never had much of an interest in this lot. Not even so much as a passing one. I know. Still, I’m fairly intrigued by this one given the joke.
Never loved the pistols? not even all the swearing? weirdo.
Right? I mean, is that even allowed? 😉
Not around these parts!
I accept that.
I do love me some Pistols, I ain’t gonna lie. Heck, they made my Top 15 on the 15th. I don’t think I NEED this set, but if I ever saw it cheap, then sure. For the sheer audacity of it. Yes.
Absolutely, plus it nails all their best rockers on one side of vinyl too.
I am blasting Never Mind The… on the good headphones right now. Sublime.
“Because, dear reader, they were fucking gods. Born as a conceptual joke, a vehicle for mischief and shaking up the status quo*, through a completely fortuitous mix of personalities and latent talents they became such an incredible band so quickly, it was like making Semtex by accident by randomly chucking some chemicals together in a lab. They were just too good.”
NAILED IT.
(bows, theatrically)
(then spits grandly on the entire front row)
They weren’t gods. They were just naughty boys.
I have ‘The Great Rock ‘n’ Roll Swindle’ which also lives (?) up to its name.
Swindle is a funny one, some very good stuff, some very funny stuff and some shite – something for all the family. I do love the cover of ‘Substitute’ far more than the original too.
They WERE Gods!
Another spot on revue. Are you sure you’re not doing this for a living? What can I say. I like exactly the same tracks for exactly the same reasons. (You should be worried. I am a seriously deranged psychopath. The last person I totally agreed with I had to eat. And yes, he did repeat on me.)
And what’s weirder, is that I’ve been singing No Fun all day in my head – coincidence? Nah, it’s just that I’ve been adapting my Novel (Thugs Like Us) into a film script and each chapter is name after a punk song. Today I was mostly adapting No Fun. (Yes, great fun.)
So, either you stop writing reviews that I totally agree with or me and you are gonna have to sit down to dinner.
Bring your own wine.
Please no! Leave my head! I’m sorry, it won’t happen again, I promise.
Okay, but then I’ll have to let your other readers in on the truth – that you’re channelling me from beyond the grave. Don’t be late with your next payment. Oh yes, and make sure the baby is warm this time. I can’t stand their, cold dead eyes. They look a bit like your vinyl.
I may have to check this out. Sounds like it’s worth a listen.
Definitely worth a blast.