‘But my dear Miss Woodhouse, can I not prevail upon you to stay for a further turn around the parkland?’, asked Miss Weston, her unaffected eagerness to spend every moment she could with her friend and mentor, was written touchingly throughout her ever candid features. As ever, Emma could hardly fail to be warmed by her friend and confidante’s high regard for herself, however she had a very definite plan already set for that same afternoon, one that she could not involve her friend in, no matter how agreeable she found her company.
‘My dear Virginia’, she began ‘I only wish that my time was mine own to dispose of in such a fashion, nothing would give me greater pleasure, as I hope you well know’. Emma’s light laugh betrayed a slight undercurrent of agitation Miss Weston thought.
‘I did not mean to be selfish and keep you here all to myself. Especially if you have some diversion of your own devised, but pray confide in me and let me know the nature of your engagement’, she persisted. Here Emma, turned towards her companion, taking her gloved hand in her own.
‘It is a most curious thing but I am riding out with Master Flint and Captain Howlett this afternoon in the Phaeton and I intend to get right royally fucked up on cheap drugs, commit several acts of gross public indecency in Highbury, culminating in pissing in a Peeler’s helmet on the very steps of the assembly rooms!’
‘Oh what larks, Miss Woodhouse! What larks!’ (Excerpt from Emma (Unexpurgated) by Jane Austen, John Murray Publishing, 1815)
Prodigy Baby’s Got A Temper was a hotly-anticipated release back in July 2002, I bought it the day it came out. It was bollocks, derivative of the band’s own best moments, sonically uninteresting and worst of all, it just smacked of a cheap attempt to drum up outrage in the British tabloids. All those references to Rohypnol as well as being, at best, grossly insensitive were predictable and dull. Compare this to the impact Firestarter had*, or the genuine danger of Smack My Bitch Up, Liam Howlett ended up disavowing the single and taking it off their next album.
It reminded me a little of Marilyn Manson, someone else just desperate to offend and upset the moral majority to the point where it was starting to be pathetic. Like a little boy running around shouting ‘Big willies!’ and/or ‘Dog shit!’ at old ladies in the high street, grow up! The lyrics of Baby’s Got A Temper just read like they were created by using Microsoft Random Controversy generator v2.3 … Naah, naah, naah, Nazi tits suicide anus, naah, naah, naah, royal family funeral, naah, naah, naah, Rohypnol.
Piss poor effort.
Why did I keep it? especially when I’ve very recently bragged about being a ruthless man of steel when it comes to getting rid of records I don’t like. Hope, I think. Hope that one day I’ll wake up and this ugly caterpillar will have become a beautiful swan over night**.
525 Down.
PS- it is actually better musically than I remembered it being from the three times I played it 13 years ago.
*sampled here.
**Note to self: check the science bit before publishing.
I came here for the title
Yayy!! Job done!
Best blog post title EVER!
Prodigy passed me right on by. Chemical Brothers too. I have songs from them on old CMJ New Music compilation CDs and after one play, it was skip time every time. Doesn’t speak to me at all.
Thank you! I just thought I’d snag a few more weirdoes into the fold with that. I really liked this sound, Crystal method were good too.
Aren’t there enough weirdos around here already (says their leader)? Ha. And yeah, I knew lots of people into that stuff. But I was the jazz kid, so this wasn’t even on the same planet, for me. And to hear it now… no. Ah well, I’m glad you like it!
Yeah, I was amused with “Firestarter”. The video would make me giggle a bit, and then feel scared about finding the mohawked chap waiting in the pantry for me as I went to grab the Bran Flakes to fill a bowl.
The whole industrial/dance/techno/weird for the sake of being weird thing never clicked for me. I never even got into NIN till I was 32. I feel you don’t build up enough proper angst for that sort of thing until you’re married with kids.
But how shocked were you to end up on my site after Googling ‘nazi tits suicide anus’?!
I wasn’t all that shocked, actually. Nazi Tits Suicide Anus was the first name choice for our son. We decided it was too common, so we went with Owen instead.
You too? what are the chances?!
Great minds think alike, I suppose.
I’ll be honest here – I never got the whole Prodigy thing. Tried and failed. I mind this song, though … an acquaintance telling me that’s what they love about the Prodigy – that they challenge you with their music or something – and me thinking “really? Is this song here an actual thing?”
I loved Prodigy for a bit – live they were amazing; but this is fat Elvis in comparison.
Holy lit-shit batman! That’s a version I would love to see in the ‘obscenity’ section in the local library. Yes, they do have one, next to the children’s books. I once got the Greedy Cunting Caterpillar out by mistake.
Agree with this review. Swear like you mean it, or shut the fuck-titty-wank-shit-up.
( I have a catchable version of Tourette’s b.t.w.ank. I caught it from a big fat cockney.)
Thank you – just stay away from the Famous Five books in that section – it’s enough to curl your hair!
Your introduction invites me to correct a mistook from our previous correspondence. It is not the Austen heroines who have attacks of the vapours and fall down stairs at the beach. It’s the supporting distaff cast who are generally insipid and oppressed. So I would expect Miss Woodhouse to outlast those two posers effortlessly and still be flanging on at dawn.
PS. Microsoft Random Controversy generator v2.4 includes all the latest racial slurs generated by current geopolitical movements and Hilary’s nomination. Get it while it’s hot.
Nice call on the Marilyn Manson-esque nature of this “look at me – I’m being offensive!” – the shock value thankfully wears thin
Thank you. Just grow up dudes!
I remember hearing this one years and years ago. You don’t make me want to check it out again.
I have a knack for that – I may start holding record companies to ransom. £2mill in used notes by Thursday, or you’ll get the full review treatment …
For a while there I was wondering if I was on the wrong site.
Ha! I’m just trying to snag all those big numbers of folk out there who Google ‘Nazi tits suicide anus’ on a nightly basis.
Like me!
Yup, you’re just my kind of shifty degenerate!