You got too many bees in your honey
Am I just another word in your page, yeah, yeah
So sang Mr Bret Michaels in 1990, showing a blatant lack of apicultural knowledge. Listen Bret, honey is formed by bees from nectar using a process of continual regurgitation and evaporation, thus creating a food source when food is scarcer for the hive during the winter months. You don’t get bees in it. What you may have been better writing about Bret, is so-called Toxic Honey*, which is honey made from rhodedendron and oleanders (amongst select other flowers) which can cause honey intoxication, symptoms involve extreme perspiration, dizziness and narcolepsy.
So anyway, that’s him told.
Poison Unskinny Bop, was a 12″ I was looking forward to hearing tonight for some harmless picture disc fun. I remember when it came out I got quite excited because it was all slinky, boppy and dancey. I’ve always thought of Poison as a pop band really, a good one. I still listen to Open Up and Say ….. Ahh! fairly often and enjoy it too and don’t get me started on teenage trauma and ‘Every Rose Has it’s Thorn’. Hell, I could dance to this one.
Unskinny Bop starts with a neat fast picking intro called ‘Swamp Juice (Soul-o)’, before hitting the title track. Sadly I found it all a bit clumsy and flat when I listened to it again tonight, even the skittish rhythm and C.C DeVille’s guitar fills and frills that I liked so much first time around. Maybe it’s a mood thing but I really couldn’t see what I used to like so much here.
I never bought Flesh & Blood the LP this came from, it was far cheaper to tape my mate Geraint’s copy, but I liked it, particularly the ballad ‘Somethin’ to Believe In’ – I do have a bit of a fatal weakness for 80s/90s ballads, maybe one day an arch enemy will be able to exploit it. My second fave track was a really strong AOR-ish one called ‘Valley of Lost Souls’, which crops up on the B-side of Unskinny Bop, it deserved a bit better I thought then and I still do actually; it’s very much of its time, but still sounded pretty good to me this evening.
The last track though (ahem), ‘Poor Boy Blues’, is an execrable idea and an even worse song that should have been strangled at birth and buried at midnight in an unmarked grave, before being urinated upon by bears. True story.
256 Down.
*the name for my forthcoming all-girl soft metal band.
Unskinny Bop was on of those songs that once it stick in your mind, it stays there for a long time. It’s having that effect on me now
Poor Boy Blues was soooooooooo bad. But if you haven’t heard Poison’s double-live opus that followed this, it actually gets worse. Bret’s intro ALONE was worse.
No way!!
http://youtu.be/CMkW2rR5IIo
Nothing more need be said.
‘Thanks’, not!
You have to at least listen to him trying to “scat”. It’s so embarassing.
Scat being the operative word …
I chose it appropriately.
Seriously though, it’s one of those “what the F was he thinking?” moments. He sounds like he’s trying to be a Mississippi bluesman in the 1930’s, while being a white guy from Pennsylvania.
I blame it on their groupie supercomputer, remember that? It seemed so revolutionary and future-sleazetastic at the time. A skank spreadsheet.
No! I’ve never heard of this. Is this something like Metal Sludge’s Penis Chart?
In another case of synchronicity between your site and mine, Unskinny Bop just came up in a discussion. Posting link to your article now 🙂
Spooky.
I’m just watching AC/DC ‘Plug Me In’, you got that one? just watching Bon struggle manfully with the bagpipes ..
I got that one and I LOVE that part.
I’m really not big on music DVDs but I love this one; although I also loved the Fly on The Wall video back in the day.
I wish I was Bon – up to a point!
Yes. Being alive is also good.
The comment is as follows:
” I remember Erica Ehm. She hosted a MM dance at our high school. Terrible. Big song of the night, the one she built up as so awesome and was saving for the end? Unskinny Bop. Thanks, Erica.”
http://mikeladano.com/2013/09/19/review-triumph-surveillance-1987/#comments
Rarely in my 1537 history has the ‘Like’ button so clearly signified the tension between ‘I liked (enjoyed) reading your post’ and ‘I like (enjoy) the music you’re writing about’. That’s a big ‘Yes’ for the former and let’s leave it there, shall we?
PS. Really I just cannot tolerate big hair. It’s an abomination, an affront to nature. Spleen vented. Feel better now. Will re-read the Isaac Hayes post for comfort.
Thank you, I feel your ‘like’ dichotomy keenly and appreciate the end result.
I just felt that too many rockers glibly trot out untruths about beekeeping, misleading their fans. It was time to take a stand.
We’re evolving out of hair, some of us harbingers of a better tomorrow just got here early.
I never went past the ‘Open Up’ album. By the time this album came out I was in a deep, dark Rush phase. I couldn’t be bothered with the pretty boys of Sunset Strip any longer. I’d also discovered Mudhoney and Screaming Trees. It was goodnight hair metal for me.
Having said that, those first two Poison albums were pivotal moments in my teen years. Their mix of pop, metal, and androgyny made for a very interesting couple years in junior high. My take on “Talk Dirty To Me” at the 7th grade talent show in 1986 won me more than a few winks and longing looks from the opposite sex.
Sometimes, you gotta cry tough.
I am honoured to know you.
I tried to be fair, trying to to hear what you hear, but, alas this was the period that kicked me out of metal and I still know why. I hear the pop craft and the uncomplicated fun, though. That’s worth something!
Urinated on by bears? I’ll take your word on that one.
Pah!
Bear urine is one of the few natural cures for glam rock – true story.
If I seek that cure, I’ll be risking life and animal welfare charges. Maybe the zoo can help.
I’d always advocate using a Pro ursine Micturologist, unless you really know what you’re doing. It avoids injury and serious embarrassment (for the bear).
Excellent point. A bear with a shy bladder is no good to anyone.
Congratulations !! That was the 666th comment on 1537.